As most of you are now aware we’re in the t minus countdown clock time. Right now it looks like it’s June 8th, we’re leaving on our final flight to Seattle, Washington in 16 days. Yes, that’s right we’re not moving to New Jersey we’re moving across the country where we don’t know anyone and have no family.
I’ve run into many friends and family who say “it’s so exciting!” Folks, it’s really not exciting, it’s exciting that Dave gets the opportunity of a lifetime but on my end, things are scary right now. To be scared and to be feeling all of what I’m feeling right now outside of excited is normal - my therapist says so.
I’ve never lived outside of Pennsylvania. There’s a lot of hurt embedded in this state that I won’t get into. My therapist says a change of pace will be good for me but I can’t help but think she’s forgotten about one huge thing - my support system. As much as people have totally kicked me around I have a subsystem of friends that have picked me back up and put me back together. Not to sound too gangsta but these are my ride or dies. The people that I know no matter how long we go without talking I can call. The ones that when I felt like I had nothing left to offer to this world made me realize I had so much to offer. Saying bye even though it’s hopefully only for a little while is hard.I know this is only going to get harder before it gets easier. The closer the date gets the more people I’ll have to part ways with - the sting is immense and it hurts my heart.
People tell me I’ll make friends easily. Surprise - I’m so introverted. I know one other person who operates like I do - so far. It seems like we’re extroverted but what you don’t know is that after we socialize we need to decompress. It takes energy, a lot of it. Making friends as an adult is hard. I plan on keeping up my swim regimen which will not be the same without Sarah pushing me. You can’t make friends there because your head’s in the water half the time. Not quite sure where else I’m supposed to find new friends.
I know Seattle holds new adventure and opportunity, especially for Dave but I can’t shake this sinking feeling in my heart no matter what I try. I’m not as confident it holds much for me besides my husband. Regardless, I’m going to do my best to make the best of it.
We have a beautiful new house that’s going to be built that hopefully, we’ll be in by Christmas. DjangoCon US is in Spokane (a 1-hour flight from Seattle) this year so I’ll hopefully be running into my bestie and other close friends when I’m there. I know September and October hold visits from some of my Penn favorites. Staying employed with Wharton remotely requires I visit at least twice a year so that will help fill the void too. At least there’s a game plan for people to get me through the first few months - a game plan that includes MY people. I’m so thankful technology continues to evolve on a daily basis. Without Google Hangouts, FaceTime, Facebook video chat, BlueJeans, Skype, and the devices that support them - I’m certain the transition would be more difficult.
Adulting is hard… life is hard. Somehow we get through it though… somehow, some way.
Thanks to Jeff Triplett for proofing this post and allowing my “heatsisms” to fly.